Reader Stories
Below are a collection of stories submitted by or about innocent men and women who have been the victims of very nasty women. We are very keen to hear from anyone else who may have similar experiences. Email here
There are so many organisations and individuals who would have you believe that men are not abused. These real stories show quite clearly that the human rights of innocent men are being violated in the UK and especially the United States of America. (If an American citizen was treated this badly by any foreign government there would probably be a military attack initiated by the US!)
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I loved Venus: The Dark Side.
I bought it on Tuesday and had read it in two days.
I am interested in psychology and particularly in destructive relationships, abuse, addiction etc. and have read many books on the subject. What was really good about this book was that it concentrated on women.
My brother is embroiled with one such woman at the moment and he is due to marry her next month. It was comforting to read the book, to know that we are not all wrong. Unfortunately she has turned him against all of us and only one person from our family will be attending.
This book is very important and maybe one day he will read it. When he is out of denial. When he needs it most.
I think I may take that advice and get a copy of the book to Paul, somehow. He is only 24 and a little green about life. This woman came in to his life, was moved in to his house within three weeks and set out to make him believe he couldn't live without her. The first time I met her, the hairs on the back of my neck stood up and I just did not like her, which is unusual for me. The mayhem she has caused within the family is indescribable. Within a year she was pregnant but did not tell Paul until she was 7 months gone! And then said, she herself only knew when she was 6 months gone. Paul had told her that he didn't want a baby for a few years. She put it down to the pill not working due to antibiotics for an in-growing toe nail!
She screams, throws tantrums, lies and constantly puts down people in our family. She never has a good word to say about anyone and it is almost like a drip drip drip torture brainwash method towards Paul. I have often thought that she would have been a great asset to the Nazis in World War 2. She also has a very charming side, which comes out now and again. We all felt like we were walking on eggshells with her, she made me so uncomfortable I hated visiting but I love my brother.
Into this awful scenario my nephew was born. Ethan is two in August and I worry about him terribly. Paul cannot see how she is behaving and is in denial about her totally. I have been scared to say too much to him in case I push him closer to her. However, once he and this awful woman terrorised my Mum and my Step Dad (his Father) and stopped them seeing their grandson, then sent wedding invites to all of us except our parents, I told him I would not be at his wedding as I was not going to be made to choose. And so did about 20 other people, including another sister and his brother.
I am sure, having written the book (and I guess, having been the victim of this kind of behaviour) you can guess at so much of her behaviour and the consequences. I am the only person to have stood up to her properly and she backed down with me.
I have been the victim of dysfunctional relationships myself, hence my interest in this subject. And I have read many books about men and their behaviour. All of which ring very true. However, I wholeheartedly agree with what you say in your book, the fact that women behave like this is not accepted within Society or the media. For that reason, your book is very ,very important. I read a book by Sandra Horley (from Refuge) she had counseled over 1000 women and it was called Charm Syndrome Man. She talks extensively about 'woman abuse' and she even says that
women do not abuse in the same ways as men and men are not as frightened as women, if and when they do get abused. I remember reading that and thinking 'this is biased and wrong.'
I don't understand why the newspapers won't write about this book. How can I help? I will, of course, mention this book to everybody I know. On a wider scale, could we not lobby magazines like Marie Claire (who have a strong journalistic bias) and some of the weekly women magazines - and ask them to write about this? What about the Daily Mail? In their Femail section, they write a lot of good articles, although I do find them a bit patronising.
If there is anything I can do to help publicise the book, let me know.
Lisa-Marie
I met a woman off a well known dating site in early 2007. Within a few months she started moving herself into my house by stealth. One day she turned up with a removals van and unloaded all her belongings. She was in! I felt slightly embarrassed but I thought I could always ask her to leave. She told everybody I had asked her to move in, which was untrue.
She was keen to have me invest in property overseas but I didn’t trust her and always avoided the subject. She started to manipulate our conversations to portray herself as a victim and me as some sort of abuser. She always had to be right, whatever the subject. She owned no books and had no interest in learning anything but she always claimed to know every subject better than anyone else. For example she lectured someone at a party that adders are not venomous. She would also suggest I was about to hit her in any argument. I think she reported me to her GP for domestic abuse (I never laid a finger on her).
She had no contact or good word to say about any of her past boyfriends and her family disowned her. He daughter is a delinquent manipulative troublemaker, who accused her ex boyfriend of assaulting her (untrue).
Over time, small items of value went missing and cash vanished. My credit cards occasionally disappeared. She was always in debt and owed a small fortune on credit cards. I paid for everything, all bills. She even managed to trash my car which I foolishly lent her.
She was constantly trying to control me. I resisted which led to arguments. These got worse and she started “gaslighting” me. She suggested I was going mad and “losing the plot”. At one point she told me she’d talked to her GP about me and suggested I was going “senile”. In the end she became violent and I asked her to leave. She packed her stuff and went without incident, but it was all manipulated so she looked the victim.
As she left she insisted we remain in a relationship. I agreed thinking we were under each others’ feet and it would get better. However within a matter of two or three weeks she’d started sleeping with her new elderly (and wealthy) landlord. I also discovered to my horror that she’d stolen things including my passport. When I pointed this out she became enraged and summoned the Police to my house, accusing me of theft! A couple of weeks after that a neighbour approached me and told me she’d asked him for sex while we were living together. I made the mistake of confronting her about this. She became enraged, entered my house and trashed a number of items. To my utter astonishment she claimed to have contacted my neighbours and said they all apparently denied my “accusations”. I explained that it was they who had approached me so what she was saying was impossible, but she continued to shout “liar” at me. She then threatened to call the Police and have me arrested for “defamation of character”. I was staggered and bewildered. Never in my life have I met anyone so evil and morally bankrupt.
I have since learned that she has sold expensive gifts I bought her while we were together at a fraction of the price I paid. I confronted her about selling her horse and she yelled “you’re wrong!” and slammed the phone down.
She claims wrongly that I open her forwarded mail. In her last text to me she makes the vile and untrue accusation that I am a “pedo”. She is spreading lies and misinformation about me constantly.
After reading your book and subscribing to various forums I now believe she is a “white-collar” sociopath.
I shiver when I think I could have married this woman or had children with her. What a relatively lucky escape. I wish to warn all readers to take care, since these people can be very plausible initially.
Nic
I just don't know where to begin. I am the mother of two sons. I have always been proud of them both. Me and my husband have been married for forty two years. We have had our ups and downs but are still together and know that we do not want to live apart even though we don't always 'get on'. My eldest son met and married a young women 15 yrs ago. She had been married before and her then husband had an affair and left her with two children. The girls were six and three when my son met their mother. He was a teacher at their school(his first job straight from University)He had moved to another area to get this job. We loved our future daughter in law and we idolised our new' grandchildren'. Soon they married and my son took on the roll of husband and father and has been admired ever since by friends and family on both sides for the way he has provided for them.
My son and his wife had a little girl about 18mths after they married. She is now nearly twelve and her sisters are 22yrs and 19yrs( both at University) . My son is now head of a small school and works very hard. In the meantime my youngest son met and moved in with his girlfriend. Again he moved to another area as soon as he left University to obtain a job and there he met his girlfriend. After their daughter was born they married in 1999.My daughter in law was pregnant again in October 2004 but in February 2005 had an abortion at a private clinic because ,according to her, the doctor had advised it because the baby was nor growing as it should and was causing her distress! We had no reason to question this but in May that year my son found a letter from his wife's colleague to her and in it he mentioned them buying their home together and that they, including my sons daughter ,would be a lovely family. He confronted her but she denied anything was going on.
After a short time my son moved in with a male friend of his and had his young daughter every tuesday and wednesday and every other weekend to stay. To say the least this house was not suitable for my granddaughter but she did not seem to mind . She is very adaptable. We did not know anything was happening because my son thought he could sort things out and save his marriage. Then my son found out that his wife had been taking her daughter to meet her new 'friend' and had even been for meals with him and her parents and her daughter. In the August she asked my sons permission to take her daughter on holiday to Thailand with her mother. Of course the new friend was going as well. He was supposed to be divorced but we later found out he had been happily married for 21 years until he met my sons wife.
The house was sold in September and my daughter in law wanted very little from the house and did not want my son to pay maintenance for his daughter. As usual the mother is the main career. He insisted on paying maintenance and has had his daughter twice weekly and every other weekend since . He bought a house near to her school .maintenance is not and has never been an issue. My sons ex neighbour told him that my daughter in law had bought an expensive house with her new friend. He found out through the land registry that the house was bought in the December 2005 On mortgage in both her and her new partners name for £550000!!!! He then found out that the partner had sold his house for £950000 and his wife had bought another house. My son divorced his wife for adultery in may 2006 and she married in September 2006 at a very expensive hotel. My son only found out because his daughter told him. He maintains a relationship with his ex wife and her new husband as I do for the sake of the child whom I have to say does not seem to have been affected by these events. My son , my husband and myself have gone through hell over this but my ex daughter in law seems oblivious to any wrongdoing or hurt she has caused us. In less than a year my son lost his unborn son,home, wife and the wonderful life he thought he would have with his daughter and her mother.
Back to my other son whose wife had been very supportive to all of us during these events. In December 2006 out of the blue my eldest son told us that he and his wife were not happy together. She accused him of abusing her middle daughter because he had walked into her bedroom as she was getting changed. Things had deteriorated and he told us he had been on antidepressants for years. She told us he was mentally ill. She moved out just before the Christmas and rented a house near to her father taking the girls and half the furniture with her. She had never worked during the marriage but had just got a job at my sons old school. He visited them everyday after she left and in June of last year she moved back. During the period she was away she never spoke or saw us once and we had always been close. She then said (after he had obtained the post as school head) that she would fight for her marriage because she loved her husband. She had also accused him of having an affair with a colleague at his old school because she read his emails and he had signed them with an X!!!!!.
Just after last Christmas my son advised us that he was fed up with the treatment he was receiving from his wife. She spat twice in his face, threw curry on the floor then walked through it and wiped her boots on him . She would not let him keep in touch with old friends and had torn up their telephone numbers, and had told her parents and mutual friends that he was having an affair. She then made him leave and took his keys from him. He had to stay with my other son and now spends weekends there and weekdays at a male colleagues house. He sees his daughter every night after school but the other girls don't speak to him because of his' inappropriate behaviour 'and have lost all respect for him. He has never seen the female colleague in question out of school hours and has never seen her since he left the school. The lady in question has a boyfriend and my son is not interested in any other woman. He says he has been a meal ticket for his wife and her two elder daughters. Their birth father has never kept in touch with them . He has married and has a son. We now wonder what happened to the first marriage!!!. My sons wife keeps telling him he has ruined her elder daughters lives because they will lose their home.
The house is going to be sold but in the meantime my son pays the mortgage, council tax, phone, gas and electricity and a car loan on his wife's car and they continue to live in the house as normal, having showers everyday and friends and family (not us) to visit . He has £30 left a week for food, petrol clothes, rent etc. My daughter in law keeps her salary to feed her and the girls. He pays for mobile phones for them all. All his possessions are in black bin bags at my other sons house. Not much to show for all his hard work and supporting someone else's children.
How can these women treat the men they have loved like this . How can they bring all this pain to us who have done nothing but accept them into our lives. My eldest sons wife said we were her rock when she first met us because we were a happy loving family. Her mother had carried on an affair for years with a neighbour before her husband found out. Obviously my daughter in law has been a very unhappy and insecure person before she met us but she has managed to wreck our happiness and persuade my son that he is not a nice person. As he lives quite a distance from his we are finding it very difficult to see him regularly. We never interfered in his life but he did a good job hiding his unhappiness from us. He has given those two girls security and love and has been there for them during their growing up and now his own daughter will not have that security, It does not make any sense. We can not make our daughter in law love our son if she does not anymore but why treat him so badly. He could not be treated any worse if he had committed murder. Why does she want to believe he has had an affair. If he had at least he would have had somewhere to go.
She complains that he does not spend enough time with her and that he is cold to her but does not see that she does not treat him very well. Incidentally he has driven over eighty miles every fourth Saturday taking her and her sister to have their hair done by their choice of hairdresser and takes her sisters Two young children and our granddaughter to See World until their hair is done. But he should do that because he should enjoy it. She then complained when he had to finish his work after they came back!!!! This is a bit garbled and is only a little bit of the situation but where do these women come from !!!!!!???? Thanks for the opportunity to get this off my chest . I have not discussed any of these issues with my daughter in law or my ex daughter in law for fear they will stop us seeing our grand children.
A very unhappy mother
I am seventeen years old almost eighteen. I have an amazing friend that is a guy. His girlfriend is always cheating on him and still he goes back out with her. She yells at him and tells him not to talk to any girls. She is always suspecting he is cheating on her. The last time they broke up was because she cheated on him. This is how it went; he went over to her house to pick her up to go to the races together. When he got there there was another car with a guy in it. He went to her door and she kept giving him excuses of why she couldn't go finally she just flat out said I am going out tonight with some friends and jumped in the guys car and left. The next morning she called him off the guys phone and was really nice until the guy came into the room. The she started yelling at my friend and all this shit. Then he called her back and the guy answered and he told him that he was her boyfriend and all this. But she just yelled and was dumb. Now they are talking again and I am so afraid for him all she keeps doing is hurting him and she uses him for his money and because he can drive. She has cheated on him at least eight times of the times we know of. Her sisters even tell him to break up with her. He called me crying and so I approached my teacher for help and now I am asking you for help please help me.. I really care for him and don't want him to get hurt anymore!!!
Amanda Sullivan
My son was in a relationship with a girl for nearly four years and during that time we as parents had grave concerns. From the very start we were worried as a relative of my husbands was from the area this girl was from and was shocked when she heard our son was going out with her. She warned us that locally she didn’t have a very good name and that there was a history of her behaving aggressively to a previous boyfriend when they broke up, not to him personally but to his property.
We discussed this as parents and decided not to tell our son as we didn’t want to interfere and we also felt that we should give her the benefit of the doubt as we didn’t know all the circumstances of her previous relationships. We also thought that if we warned our son it would affect our relationship with him as he was very taken with this girl.
As time went on, it was obvious they were very close and that the girl in particular was very possessive of our son. She was a few years older than him so that concerned us too as he was quite immature and we felt that she was at an age that she was looking towards long term commitment and even talking of marriage while he was quite young and this was his first long term girlfriend.
She did disclose to me that she had been in a previous relationship and was engaged and that it broke up because he was violent towards her and also she discovered he was unfaithful which resulted in her breaking off the engagement. This sort of explained the information we had about her so we again decided to say nothing.
The relationship continued and there were several occasions when we were really worried as all our sons time was dominated with this girl. He lost all contact with his friends, if he met them or was planning to go for a drink with them, there would be arguments. Our son’s friends began to express their concern to us and we heard about a couple of occasions when, in a nightclub, she was seen hitting him across the head and on one occasion had to be removed from a club due to her behaviour. I had suspicions on one occasion when he had a black eye which he said he got at football but was very evasive about it, that it may have been her who hit him.
She would regularly stay in our home and there were several occasions when we would hear arguments late after they returned from a nightclub.
We spoke to our son on several occasions and voiced our concerns over the last two years of the relationship and he always said the relationship wasn’t serious and that he was okay.
My son ended the relationship and we were quite fearful of what this girl would do but thankfully all settled down.
Some weeks later, I received a copy of the book “That Bitch” and was horrified by some of the detail in it but a lot of the behaviour, etc. sounded very familiar. I took it home and casually gave it to my son to look at and for some time he didn’t make any comment. Then one evening he said to me “ You know that book you showed me? I could have written it and I am never going to get myself into that situation again.”
A Concerned Mother
When it comes to malicious women I have run into allot of them. I am a woman who isn't afraid to tell that they really are not Bitches, but are women who can't understand necessary thinking.
My son is sitting in prison because of a malicious woman, and she made it worse for him when she found out I was helping my son go against her. She was counting on him having no one to help him as she had a lawyer literally take all of his money so he had nothing to defend himself with.
I knew a long time ago this ******** couldn't be trusted, but he wouldn't listen to me and this happened. Now he is really sorry he didn't take my advice.
He asked her for a divorce so she told him if he tried to divorce her she would charge him with molesting her daughter and other numerous counts of child pornography. It was proven he was innocent of both but the judge overturned the jury verdict of innocent to give my son a prison sentence because he put calamine lotion on this step daughter's rash. They had pictures that showed the rash and the calamine lotion and that didn't make a difference.
Now his wife thinks she is going to sit pretty in Indiana where she has lived since 2004, thinking no one will find out she is the child pornographer. Not a chance, I personally am going to make sure to make her life a living hell just as she has done to her children and now to my son.
Too many men are getting screwed royally by the courts because of malicious women, so I have to help show them what it feels like. I have no fear and am intimidated by no one.
My husband has been involved with a child support case in Arkansas for many many years.( We have lived in Tennessee for 23 years) His 2 children are now 29 and 33 years own with 3 children of their own. He got a $14,300 child support judgment back in 1986 which according to an Arkansas Child Support Document shows this was paid off in 1993 yet Arkansas OCSE "forgot" to file a satisfaction. His ex in 1999 found out that it was not recorded as paid off and she then closed the case with OCSE and went to an attorney who has represented her for years and is very powerful in Arkansas. They made up numbers which my husband denied owing in court and then her attorney along with our attorney signed a waiver for the first day of trial not be transcribed of which contained the denial of the false amount owed.
The transcriber was there transcribing but denies being there. She even smiled and spoke to us that day!! We did not know about this waiver until after the court when we found it at the courthouse. This waiver helped to deny us of our due process of an appeal. Then our attorney along with the opposing attorney also got together without our knowledge and had the judge sign an order stating that the plaintiff and defendant through their attorneys agree that my husband owes over $40,800 in arrearages from this $14,300 1986 judgment that we have all of our cancelled checks to prove has been paid off!! (The attorneys only showed part of our records to the judge) We were ordered to pay $5,000 lump sum to the ex or for my husband to spend 6 months in jail! We went and borrowed the $5000 to keep him from having to go to jail.
We then went and got a new attorney to file our appeal even though we only had the last day of the trial because the first day had been destroyed (due to the waiver the attorneys had signed.) The new attorney said he had never heard of the ex`s attorney. This new attorney then filed our appeal a day late and sent us a letter saying the appellant court threw it out because it was late! We filed a complaint on this new attorney . The ex`s attorney (who had recently served as chairman of the Ethics committee) wrote a letter on the new attorneys behalf concerning our complaint and the committee only gave him a warning!!! ( This new attorney then said the ex`s attorney had been a family friend for years! )
We continued paying ex $300 month but we realized that we were approx $13,000 overpaid and my husband became very ill so we stopped paying in March 2005. Then in 2006 they took my husband back into court and they got a judge to have an expedited hearing in a little room in the courthouse. They called it Circuit Court but Circuit Court was being held upstairs by a lady judge and our court was the only one being held in that little room. The judge (chosen by her attorney) drove from out of town just to hear our case. When spectators came in they were immediately sent out..
The judge refused to look at our proof of payments and just said all we had was a paper from OCSE and they had a paper showing what we actually owed! It was figured by a man who had his accountant license taken away and was sent to prison several years ago for money laundering! He had been the ex wife`s boyfriend for years and has been a car salesman since getting out of prison. All of these people knew this was totally fraud yet the judge ruled that my husband could pay a lump sum of $15,000 plus at least $500 month until this fraudulent $48,000 was paid off or spend 6 months in jail! He wanted us to report back to the Court about a month later with the $15,000 or my husband to come prepared to stay in jail. We tried getting to the courthouse on court day even though we did not have the $15,000 and had no possible way of getting it.
We were worried about having the gas money to get there. Our car started running hot and we turned around and e-mailed our attorney telling her our circumstances. She went on to court for us. The judge then ordered the $48,000 plus $1000 to her attorney to be paid in a lump sum or my husband go to jail!! (We had already paid our attorney $7400. and were totally broke!) We do not even have $48.00 much less $48,000!! We have absolutely no way to get this kind of money. We have been in real estate for 20 years and houses are just not selling!! Our grown daughter is bringing us food for survival and she is on government assistance trying to raise 3 kids on her own. In our testimony we told the judge about us losing our Real Estate building to foreclosure (where we have run our company for 16 years), We also told about having our car and van being repossessed. We are having to borrow an old 1990 car from my brother. He has taped the back glass in with wide black tape and if it rains. It has huge hail damage ALL over it and the top is severely torn all over. The paint is coming off on all four sides and of course it has no air. We have no retirement or health insurance. His ex has a great retirement, good health insurance and a good income at a college where she has worked for years.
She drives a nice like new car, wears designer clothes,and lives in one of Blytheville`s most exclusive neighbourhoods. She takes a vacation at least every year. We have not had a vacation in years!! Never in all of these years has any financial means EVER been shown. We do not even have the money to pay our bills each month and we have not bought any clothes in several years. We are considering filing a chapter 7 bankruptcy because we have absolutely $0 equity in anything. We are totally broke! We appealed our case to the Arkansas Court of Appeals and they affirmed the case June 25th 2008 . We cannot prove it but it is our belief that the ex`s attorney somehow did the same thing he did with the judge in 1999 and showed the folks at the appellant court (which he knew well) these fake documents as if we owed this money.
If my husband goes to jail or if they garnish his check I will lose my home of 23 years to foreclosure and even though it has no equity it is still home and it`s all I have now. My husband recently got a job working in a restaurant making about $300.UNDER enough each month to pay our bills. The ex wife has told their children that she knows this case is illegal but the courts has said she can get this money and she WILL get it or my husband WILL go to jail!! We sent approx $8400 directly to her one year which was never reported to OCSE and the $5000 we paid for the purge in 1999 was never reported to OCSE. The ******** Courthouse does NOT show the $5000 in their printout of what`s been paid even though it was paid to them because it would show us being overpaid but they did make a note of it in the docket book. The ex`s attorney has now filed a document in our file in the courthouse as if it came from OCSE with these fake figures being owed! ******** OCSE as well as ******** now say they have nothing in our file because the case has been closed . If only they had filed this satisfaction in Nov 1993 when it was paid off we would not have lost everything and we would not be going through this awful nightmare!!
Her attorney is so powerful that he can get away with all of this theft and fraud and get others to conspire with him to pull off this extortion. He is so powerful that nobody will go against him in Arkansas so we HAVE to get it before the federal people so that we can prove this fraud!! Her attorney even somehow got my personal & company tax return years ago without my knowledge. (It was for a year that I was not even married to my husband until Oct that year!) How he got it is beyond me but I have had identity theft ever since! We just need someone federally to audit this child support case so that this terrible mess can be resolved proving we do not owe this money so we can go on with our life and my husband will not have to fear jail or garnishment for this money that we do not owe. Isn`t this what is called debtors prison--when you are forced to go to jail if you cannot pay a fraudulent debt?
If we were to have to pay what`s been ordered we would be paying about $100,000 (counting what we have already paid and what is now ordered) for this $14,300 judgement from 1986.! Anyone should be able to tell that on a $14,300 judgment at 10% interest for 22 years ,even if we had paid nothing-- (which we have paid $39,600 on)--this $48,000 additional amount as just affirmed by the Court Of Appeals is totally impossible!! I`m just thankful we have ALL of our cancelled checks! We do not have any more money we can use for an attorney.
Folks in Arkansas will not help us because of the power of this ex`s attorney who has held several important offices in the state. I do not expect to hear anything from you on this either because I know of the fear people have when it is this many important Arkansas Officials involved in a case like this. (There are at least 15 well known Arkansas officials involved) but I really do appreciate you taking the time to read it. I am not just another crazy person with another crazy story. This case has cost me my entire life. It has caused us to lose all confidence in our judicial system. It is my belief that this case should be given strict attention just as ******** did in 1998 on an Arkansas Child Support case when she brought down several important people in Arkansas. It should become a case that is well known in Arkansas Corruption.
Here is our story, part of it because it would take me all night long to tell you the whole story of start to end. So I 'am going to try my best to keep it short and sweet and to get right to the point for you. Okay I met my husband in May of 2002 and He had recently got a divorce from his wife of 5 years, but they had been together for 8 years. And I was in the middle of a divorce & custody battle ,and had been going through that since February 2002. We had been married 2 years & 2 months.
When I met my husband his wife was overly jealous, and crazy. I tried to get along with her because of my husband and his daughter. But it seemed that she did not want that. I became pregnant in August 2002. When this happened you could only imagine how she reacted, she certainly did not like this, nor her mom neither. They both acted crazy, like my husband was going to forget about his own daughter with her. His daughter at the time was 19 months old. He thought the world of her,and was so proud of her, and very protective of her. And her daddy was her world, she would cry her eyes out for him all the time. His wife called one night and asked was I pregnant, and she talked about 30 minutes asking questions about my husband, and telling me all kinds of tales to try to get me to leave him, When she seen it wasn't working, she then said her daughter, told her mommy don't hurt my coochie like my daddy done,
Again this child was only 21 months at this time, and could not talk to well anyway. So then she said now are you going to leave him? But of course I let her know I did not believe it. She then went and took a order out on him, and took his visits away. He fought for his rights and 2 years later he got them back, supervised for 2 months, and then overnight, She did not want this of course! All that he had before was every other weekend 9-5 Sat. and Sun. These visits went really well, and his daughter actually mentioned things her mom would tell her to say. In other words coaching her, These visits were done like at a welfare office, So the lady doing the visits documented all of this!!
Eventually his ex wife and her mom was banded from the building for outrageous outburst!! She then was very mad and fought until she stopped these and took charges upon my husband, for sexual abuse by a parent, No physical was ever found. She and my ex in-laws got together and called the welfare so many times all 4 of my children were took. This happened in August 2005. And still fighting. Now my ex mother in law has been coaching my 2 daughters.
My husband went to court in July 2007, For his trial. There was a forensic psychologist, who stated she believed there was significant evidence that the children had been coached, and by there grandma, this was on my girls. There is still a pending case on them but they used them in his daughters trial. Again there are no physical evidence, and nothing linking him to this. My oldest girl said she was only touched on her bottom and me, And my boys, and my husband was in the room, and her clothes were on, this could mean anything, she could have got a whipping or anything. My middle girl said no he never done anything to hurt her. And his daughter act like it happen but you could tell an adult was talking through her, She is now 7 years old. So all this time she has been coached, She also said her mom would whip her if she did not tell this.But any way my husband was convicted of something he did not do. He is innocent, and a good man. We do go to church and have allot of prayers in for us. I hope in the end it goes sin our favour, He did file for an appeal. He is on bond now, until the sentence date. I do think the judge does not believe it, He has never went to jail yet thank God!! And after the guilty verdict he was put on bond, in July 2007.
Also one more thing to think about the foreman of the grand jury, had been sexually abused by her father since a child. I really believe with this alone just maybe grounds for a mistrial. We do have more things to go on for a mistrial also. Everything in this trial was done very wrong. I have never seen nothing like this. It is just the biggest mess I have ever seen. I am sorry for talking your ear off, there is so much more to this story. But we wont get in to that now.
To whom it may concern,
I have been the victim of not one, but two consecutive back to back evil and vindictive women ever to have walked the face of this earth. My first was a woman I completely trusted with my life and all my money. She was a real estate broker and she convinced me to give her my money to co-invest with her on several properties and when I did (blindly I should say) she ended up (when our personal relationship was over) lying about our agreement and keeping all the money and properties. I was so stupid because I let her keep all the properties in her name...What a fool I was. So I have a pending civil suit in court right now and we're to go to trial in February. She filed a "restraining order" on me to boot because that was the only way she could get me out of one of our homes. Nice girl .Huh??? I'm so devastated over her betrayal and I'm still reeling over being penniless, jobless and now homeless.
Fast forward several months after this 1st betrayal and now I meet this woman online. She and I talk on the phone for over a month and she tells me if I don't come to see her then she has to come see me. She tells me everything I want to hear and she plays with my already fragile and overly sensitive emotions. We meet and the chemistry is electric. I fall in love with this woman and she wants me to move in with her...fully knowing my bleak financial situation. She turns out to be a multi millionaire and convinces me that she doesn't care about whether or not I have any money...she just wants "to be loved". Well, she got all the love I had inside to give to her, but it never seemed to be enough. I gave her my heart and my soul and she still never seemed to be happy. Her own son said she thrives on drama and chaos which is partly why he has to go to therapy.
It turned out that she, like my previous ex has a drug and alcohol problem (mixing ambien and wine) and it was causing me great pain and agony. I never have even tried a drug in my life and i certainly don't like to drink, so this was a source of great discomfort to me. She also tried to stab me several times with her (human growth hormone) needles and sick her guard dog on me for no reason. You ask me why did I put up with it? Well, I truly believed that God had put these women in my life as a test and that they needed me as much as I needed them and because this last relationship her son committed suicide in 2000, and I felt compelled to help her "heal" from the pain she was going through...just like i thought she was put in my life to help me "heal" from the betrayal of my last relationship.
I thought we were both on the right tract with moving forward towards a healthy and happy life together. Until, she needed to stir things up again. She wasn't happy being complacent with me and being in a "normal" relationship. She then started getting verbally abusive towards me and ended up throwing me out with nowhere to go and with no money to move with. I was again completely shocked and stunned at this betrayal when all I ever wanted from both of these women was to be loved for who I am. They both knew I've been depressed over the loss of my Mother and my career as an actor was slowly slipping away and they both supported me in my struggle to find my place in this world. They both had gotten me so emotionally and financially dependant upon them that it seemed when I truly needed them the most, is when they decided it was time to cut me loose.
I'm so devastated by it all that I've contemplated suicide and I wish God would just take me in my sleep so I won't have to suffer anymore. I am barely able to breathe and stay afloat and if a miracle doesn't happen to me soon, I will be living on the streets because I have nobody left who truly cares about me.
God? Mom??? Please send me an Angel quick before I die from this loneliness and despair ...PLEASE??????????????
Thanks
I just wanted to give a shout out about your book. Nice work! I wish I had read it before I got married. (I am now divorced, thank God.
I was a victim of a great deal of emotional abuse and manipulation during my marriage by a woman who was a master at portraying herself as the victim and me as the perpetrator. This woman constantly hemmed and hawed about her troubles and how everything was everyone else's fault, including mine. Then, when the divorce got under way, she turned into the nastiest, most aggressive and selfish person I had ever seen. I'm a pretty tough guy, but I was floored by it. Thank God I had some good friends and I had picked up your book before the ordeal was finished. Needless to say, I was left broke because she took all my money. That, and she immediately violated nearly every term in our separation agreement - that a judge had just stamped. More must be done to uncover the ruthless ways of such women.
I think a big problem is that most men have a 'Do The Right Thing' mentality. What we don't realize is that a bitch has no version of the "Right Thing' other than getting what she wants. The result is that we unwittingly subject ourselves to round after round of emotional blackmail and abuse until we just can't take it anymore. We give in, give the bitch what she wants, and then she goes on to the next victim. You don't have to be physically abused to suffer.
More must be done to highlight the emotional abuse so many men withstand in relationships. I think it is an even bigger problem than physical abuse
The Vulture
As a "Soft Touch" sprightly sixty two year old it was a dream come true for me to receive the sizzling flashing eye contact of a dark eyed sensuous forty eight year old on a dance floor.
I stuttered to ask her out....but she quickly helped me!
Her eyes lit up when she learnt that I ran my own business and did charity work and loved to give.
Spending a year doting on her, I let her right into my heart.
I spent thousands of pounds in household goods and time setting up home with her.....with some faint assurances about a future together.
We spent the most fabulous holiday abroad together, of course at my entire expense. During that holiday I introduced her confidently and trustingly to my God Son aged thirty seven. God did the vulture make a bee - line for his tanned torso! Yes, you guessed it, I trustingly gave her my God Sons mobile phone number so that she could text him with a shopping list for his mum and , my friends of fifty years.
On returning home, The Vulture ended our relationship without explanation, and booked a another holiday with .....yes you guessed it my God Son. After a few weeks The Vulture swooped on him, promising that they would be living together....yes you guessed it...in the house we had prepared "For Each Other"....and yes you guessed it....at my expense.
Did I believe this was possible? Not for any decent human being no....so I did not. The disbelief wore off when reality visited....and my own God Son stuttered the words "They are together"...after they had known each other a few weeks and had acted without scruples.
The Vulture had struck again ....nothing convincing her victim that he was being consumed too.
THE END
Having lived with, divorced from, won custody from, and continue to deal with a sociopath (here labeled Borderline Personality Disorder) on a weekly basis, I can tell you that the excerpts I've seen on Glenn Sacks' website are an exact description of my ex.
My main problem is in convincing any social worker who hasn't bumped headlong into the ugly side of her personality that this woman is truly evil, capable of saying or doing anything. And there's a shocking lot of things that encompass 'anything'. I'm usually at a loss to explain to someone, in 30 seconds or less, exactly why I have zero contact with my ex. My experience is that I run into some counselor, CPS worker, etc, who has only heard this woman's manufactured horror stories about the supposed abuse she's suffered, and so has already made the determination that we're a classic example of male domestic violence. Few case workers will bother to read through the 4" thick case report. Fewer still will do their due diligence, or even contact previous case workers.
I've tried to caution her next 3 paramours/ boyfriends/ fiances / sugar daddies, but again, until she gets told no, isn't getting her way, isn't getting the attention she wants at 3 am, it's hard to for them to imagine the extent of what she's capable of until the police show up. By then, it's usually too late. Every cop that shows up wants to be her knight in flashing blue armor. She's become adept at going from violent raging and screaming harpy to poor, abused, meek little housewife/ doormat that was unable to satisfy the monster she lives with in seconds, complete with pulled hair, fat lip and nail gouged neck and arms.
Dear Mary,
I heard you on Spin 1038fm and I thought you were excellent. I was so delighted that you wrote the book and put a name on that type of person. I have come upon these people growing up in the 70's and 80's but I always put it down to the girls being "Mean", "Snobby", "Arrogant Snobs" :The girls being class discriminator" etc...until my brother and sisters did it on me after my mother died then I called it "Manic Depressive" and jealously. I ended up thinking it was me, until I went to counseling and it ended up that they were selfish and I was selfless and naive because people would not do this on good, kind, loving, caring people but they did and will do. These good people always attract these bitchy people. The bitchy people think that "Far off fields are greener". But now my 12 year old child has problems with five girls. One girl is red haired! spoiled rotten, the family has a big house, a second house in Galway, ponies etc. Slag's off other kids (Going to learning support, smaller house etc), she palls with another girl (girl number 2) whose family has a second house (Half belongs to granddad but we are not supposed to know) and the mother pushes her girl to play with girl number one because it looks good on the mothers image.. to have a friend like that. Girl number one wont let girl number two have other friends (Possessive) and the second girl fell out with girl number one ( Girl number one, who has a new friend and she's not allowed have another friend history repeating itself). Now girl number two only plays with girl number three because her parents drive a Mercedes, has lots of money, and of course a second house in *******, (The mother of number 2, again good for her image).
My girl is in school with girl one girl two. She plays with another girl, girl number 4 (11 yrs in a class under hers) whom we had in our house playing, watching movies, we brought with us on holidays. A girl in her class (girl number 5) palled with my girl and girl number 4. Girl number 1 was number 5s best friend whom she fell out. Girl number 5 then palled with girl number 4 until parents of 3 and 2 stopped that and made them pall instead. Then girl number 5 befriended my girl and girl number 4 and split them up (The way you talked in the radio) and now they wont play with my girl. My girl got upset for 3 days which eventually she got out of her system and is now playing with other girls and girl number 2 because her mother told girl number 2 to play with other people. I blame the parents. The mothers teach and mould these kids the way they are. My girl is very quite and selfless. The counselor told me that people who are selfless hurt easily. Also that some people hate the relationship people would have with their husband, friend, sister etc... And now one of my husbands friends married a girl I knew. She was spoiled rotten everything that you talked about on spin... she was and more. She could not stop spending, nothing made her happy. He wanted a child she never wanted a child. She started doing the same thing on her husband as she did on her ex boyfriend. i.e backing off...its me not you...she had a boyfriend lined up...she put his back to the wall...he broke up with her...she went off with the other guy (How could he do this ...tears...then it did not work the way she thought...tried to use him as a safety net, he met up with some one else...
Mary I see this disease every day of my life . Thank you for writing the book, its puts everything into place. I hope I can find the true answers as to why people do this behavior......is it depression, unhappiness incapable to be content with what we have...insecurity or in the case of my family Mental Illness .or wanting a piece of other peoples happiness...ex...If I buy a new bag and I am so delighted over the bag and other people want a piece of my happiness and delight They go out and buy the same bag but they don't get the same delight...is it people cant find what makes them happy and contentment...the comfort zone issue... is it hell have no fury like a woman scorned...is it woman's way of releasing the lesbian side...we as girls always fancy the guy whom we give a hard time to...is it the same for women who fancy other women...what is it Mary...am I on the right road....is there a way these people can change their ways. Is the button of self destruction beyond repair.
Thank you Mary indeed
She too got pregnant (while we were legally separated), and while she had an "active restraining order". It's comical, she wanted the house, the cars, and everything that I had bought her (including $30,000 worth of my personal tools!). She kept everything, sold it for pennies on the dollar. She ran up over $15,000 in personal credit card debt (just on clothes alone) during our first year of marriage, and after I left her she began telling everyone that I had done it.
Since when do I buy women's clothing at Ann Taylor, and Marshall Fields which is very expensive, on HER credit cards? Ridiculous and absurd, but that's how this woman is. She tries to twist everything around, and manipulate neighbours, friends, family, and even people at church into thinking that I was "abusive" and a "drunk".
After I left (4 months later) she filed a restraining order and changed the locks on the house (so I couldn't even get my stuff). In the restraining order she lied, and filed a police report saying that I had "beaten her" and "pushed her down a flight of stairs". (I was over 2,000 miles away living in Arizona at the time with family). As stupid as it sounds, I was arrested and thrown in jail. I spent 3 1/2 months in jail/prison due to her crazy and absurd allegations. The judge wouldn't even listen to my family or friends.
After it was all over, I got out and have just been hiding from her. I try to avoid her at all cost, and just want her out of my life. She filed a restraining order in the courts, saying that I had hit the baby (the baby is 1 year old now), and I wasn't allowed to go to the child birth, or even see the child.
The baby is 1 year old, and I still have never even seen the child (not once). Yet, in another one of her police reports she wrote that I had "hit the baby". (Just so she could get full custody, and I'm not allowed to even see the child and must stay at least 500 ft away from the child, according to court documents).
It's completely absurd, and all of this was on the advice of her attorney, who told her 3 years ago that she should begin filing "false allegations of abuse" so that she could keep the house, the material belongings, and even the baby.
She even told me this stuff! (prior to doing it!!) She is an emotional roller coaster, and I decided to "get off" that crazy ride before that train crashes. I only wish that someone would have given me a copy of your book PRIOR to me getting married (in late 2004/early 2005). It could have saved me a lot of grief and heartache.
She has called over 250 people in my cell phone (behind my back) to tell them all that "I beat her" (this was while we were "happily" married?) I had no idea she was doing these crazy things
When someone finally approached me from church, and told me about it, she immediately denied it, and called them a liar.
Later, when they showed me their phone records, and as more and more of my friends started calling me (friends I hadn't spoken to for 10+ years, that didn't even know I had gotten married...) they called me and told me that they got a phone call from some strange woman (claiming to be my wife), who just wanted them to know that I beat her, and asked if I had beaten any of them (asking this to my prior ex girlfriends, etc.). All of them called me back stating that I had "married a psycho" and told me everything she said to them. They told her that I had never physically touched or abused any of them.
She got upset, and cursed at them, and hung up on them. It all seems comical, and looking back at it all, I was just completely blind-sided by all of this. When I asked her about it, she denied everything (and swore that all my friends were just "crazy"). The past 3 years have been unbelievable.
This is a woman that LOVES drama. A "drama queen" if you will, and it's just not my style. I hate drama, and try to avoid it at all cost. I moved as far away as I possibly could (over 2,000 miles away), just to get away from her.
She still called the police, and tried to "reel me back in" (refusing to let me "get away" from her). My lawyer said it's going to be a "bumpy ride" and the next 18 years are going to feel like a "prison sentence". The lying, cheating, conniving, and manipulation has been going full blast for years now, and now that she has the baby she plays the "victim" card every chance she gets. "Oh single mom, no help from my 'drunk and abusive' husband.." She shakes the can, and tries to get money (and support) from my mother, my family, as well as her whole family, as well as neighbours, and the church (and anyone else that will "feel sorry" for her, or believe her ridiculous stories).
She has never held a job for more than 3 months, she changes churches at least once a year (5 churches in 5 years). The woman is a roller coaster, and depending on her "feelings" on that particular day, she either "loves you" or "hates you" but there is no in between.
One day she is begging me to stay, and the next morning she is throwing a candle or lamp at my head and damaging a door. Later after I leave, she calls the police and tells the police that I damaged the door. I don't know how much the police actually believe anymore (and they think she is just psycho because even the police know that I couldn't have damaged the door, and then 2 hours later been arrested in Phoenix Arizona (over 2,000 miles away). The police realize that it's impossible, and that maybe she doesn't have all her marbles.
But regardless, all she has to do is write the statement, and the police (by law) must take the statement, and attempt to prosecute me. I've been dragged through the court system, and it seems to be very "anti-men" in America. If you are a man, you're screwed. Better get a good lawyer, and even then, you will still probably be left stripped of everything, and you will be lucky to keep your underwear. If she can get 50 cents for the socks, she will take those too.
The American courts are in really bad shape right now.
So many feminist movements, and they have turned the court system into "man haters". There is no way I can even get "joint custody" at this point, or even any form of custody. My lawyer said it seems almost impossible to even get "visitation", and I would be very lucky to even get "supervised visitation" at this point. He said that she has written so many false reports, and false allegations, and I simply walked away (instead of fighting back).
I really don't know what to do. My life is a shambles.
The only physical abuse that has ever occurred during our marriage is her slapping me (and she even admitted to slapping me, and beating me to the judge!!!) The judge still didn't care, and still awarded her a restraining order, and full custody of the house, and everything that I owned.
She withdrew all the money from the bank accounts, and sucked me dry (the day prior to filing the restraining order). When I asked what happened to the money, she lied, and said there must be a "bank error". Later, I found out that she had filed the taxes almost 3 months prior, and took/kept the $4,900 tax refund (and lied to me for 3 months claiming that she hadn't received any tax documents and that we couldn't file). It was April 14th, the day before tax deadline when I found out (by calling the IRS) that our taxes had already been filed, and that the refund was already sent (and cashed) almost 3 months prior. I was completely shocked.
I asked her where the money went, and she tried telling me the "IRS is lying". When I contacted them, they sent me a copy of the check, and it even shows the account it was deposited into (her personal account). When I confronted her with the evidence she got angry, and kicked me out of the house, and called the police on me (saying that I had "verbally abused" her).
I can't believe how slanted our society is to over "Women's shelters" and "Women's hotlines" (for "abuse"), but where are the "Men's hotlines"?
I don't have anyone to call, and certainly no lawyers are lining up to help me, or help me get out of this situation. Yet, a woman calls an "abuse centre" and lawyers are lining up like hungry wolves coaching this woman as to exactly how to take the house, how to get me "evicted" from the house (restraining order and false accusations of abuse are the "quickest way" according to the lawyers), and also the accusations (and documentation) helps in future court matters (child custody, alimony, etc.)
Unbelievable. So what happens to the men? Does my ex-wife tell the judge that I was a kind of loving man, that would give her the world, and that I would shovel the driveway (and all of the neighbour's driveways) with 3 herniated disks in my back, and not even think twice about it.
Of course not, that doesn't go along with the "picture that she paints". She claims that I don't support her (at this point I have nothing to support her with, she took the house, the cars, and every single penny I have ever had). Froze all my bank accounts. How can I support her? I got a job in Arizona, I used my first two paychecks to send her over $3,600 worth of OshKosh clothes, diapers, and baby wipes/lotion for the baby (just so the baby was well taken care of). She picked up the phone, and called the police. Had me arrested and thrown in jail.
For sending clothes? She wouldn't even let the baby wear the clothes (they were all brand new), and sold them for pennies on the dollar, just so she could tell the neighbours that I don't help her, or support her or the baby.
Completely absurd. No conscience, no heart, and I hate to say it but just an evil and vindictive woman with such a self-centred heart. She only cares about one person in this world, herself. I open doors for complete strangers, and all she does is look to prey on them.
She is a "sub-prime lender/loan officer". She calls people up and attempts to manipulate them, and suck them dry (even put them in a 12% loan, at variable interest rate, knowing that within a year they will end up bankrupt and foreclosed on). Just so she can make a few bucks screwing these people over.
Then on Sunday she goes to church, and pretends like she is "one of them".
Another woman from church was living with her (as a roommate) after I had moved out, and she told everyone at church that she is evil, and she even called me on the phone and told me everything that she has done to me (and is doing to me) and told me that she is even willing to testify against her in court.
This is a woman I don't even know, but who is now willing to help me. She even admitted to this girl that she lied to police, and admitted to her that she was just trying to get the house, and material things, and just "wanted a paycheck" for the rest of her life.
Honestly, had I read the preface of your book 10 years ago, I would have laughed, and really wouldn't have even believed it. But I can speak first hand, then when you finally do meet one of these women, they will put you through an "emotional meat grinder".
Even her parents have told me of stories that she told them (of "alleged abuse"). Stories of me beating her, sticking her head in a toilet, and afterwards locking her in a closet.
What? Everyone that knows me, had a difficult time believing these things, but she has told the stories for years, and when the cops show up at the house they usually come "4 strong" (at least 4 police cars). When they show up, no bruises, no marks, nothing. The police ask how she could have fallen down a flight of stairs, and not have a single bump or bruise? Not a single black mark, nothing. Even if she were slapped, there would be some form of "red mark" or something. They examined the baby, and absolutely nothing either.
The police scratch their head, and think it's "very odd" and strange, but they write the police report anyway, and she goes before a judge and testifies that these things actually happened (and they are written in her sworn statements and sworn testimony before the courts).
I even told the judge, "Don't you think that she would have a bruise? At least one bruise?" For real, in 3 years, you don't think that maybe she would have a black eye, or a broken nose, or even a single red mark, or bruise? Just one?
The judge doesn't care, and her sworn testimony is "good enough" evidence before the court, and I'm found guilty, and the hearing is over. I get escorted out of the court room (and told to stay away from her, the baby, and the house). Unbelievable. I was over 2,000 miles away when you arrested me, and you bring me all the way back here, just for this?
I can understand the "resistance from media" simply because the media only wants to paint one picture (of "murdering men" that "beat, rape and victimize women".) Watch "Oxygen" or "Lifetime". The "man-hater" tv stations (that women watch). Every single movie, or show on "Lifetime" portrays men as "abusers, child molesters, killers, sexual predators". This is how the media portrays men. As "stupid", and even watch "Everybody Loves Raymond". It's a funny show, but it just shows how the media portrays "Men as stupid" and "Women as smart".
Every comedy show out there, just makes fun of men. If the shoe were on the other foot (and they were making fun of women) then this would be considered "sexist".
The feminists would rally on Capital Hill, and rally against the TV stations, and ask that the shows be cancelled or removed.
The liberal "Left wing" of our country is nothing but "modern women" (sex-in-the-city) types that don't want to hear anything about how they treat (use, and consume) men.
They are a minority of women, but there are women like this out there. Trust me, I'm living proof and I can attest to this, and I could give you hundreds and hundreds of pages of things that I went through just in my own personal saga when dealing with a woman like this.
I'm not a "woman hater", and I really did care for her and love her with all my heart. It breaks my heart, and crushes me to think about how she could even do all this (and be so heartless and cruel).
She has that "don't take it personally, it's only business" type of attitude. The "Dog eat dog" mentality, and "win at all cost".
My lawyer begs me to just "fight back", but I just don't have the heart to fight back. I'd never hit a woman, and trying to "fight a woman" is something I would rather not do, and sometimes it's easier to just walk away. I know she got what she wanted, and she sucked me dry.
Most of my co-workers didn't believe any of it (till she has the police show up at my work and arrest me). It's embarrassing, and then people begin to believe "Wow, it must be true... "
Now the boss has had enough of the "drama", and doesn't want the headaches or stress, and the only way to get her to stop calling is for him to let me go. He told me to "get my personal life straight" and then I can go back to work for him. How can I get my personal life straight? She doesn't stop. I'm 2,000 miles away in a different state, and she is calling my employer? Calling all my family, calling all my friends. Doing anything she can to "poison" any type of friendship I may have with anyone.
She likes to "plant that seed of doubt" in everyone's mind, so later she can water it, and watch it grow and flourish. It's like spreading weeds, that will eventually choke out all the grass, and kill off everything that is good.
The divorce is going to be terrible, and something that I'm really not looking forward to. I'd rather cut off my right arm, then go to court against this woman. This is going to be nothing but painful.
When you start to see these "signs" then you know they are red flags, and to run. Not walk, but RUN!
My dad told me that the "red flags" were hitting me in the face! Everyone saw it, but me!
My dad even warned me, but he said that against his (and some of my family's) advice... I willingly just walked right into the meat grinder. Like a sheep waiting to be slaughtered.
Love will make you do some stupid things, and looking back at it, the signs were all there.
I didn't listen. I felt sorry for her. I cared for her. I loved her, and wanted to help her. Boy did she chew me up and spit me out. I'm still scratching my head and can't even believe all of this.
I had begged her for a divorce after only being married for 6 months. I was on my hands and knees with paperwork (asking for an "uncontested divorce") and asking her to just let me go.
She refused. For 2 additional years she refused. (She needed to start the "abuse allegations" first... so that way she could get the house, the cars, and everything I have ever worked for and owned). Even though much of the stuff I had owned prior to even knowing her, but once she files "allegations of abuse" the courts just give her everything (no questions asked).
She is a "victim" in the court's eyes. My lawyer said that it's not over, and he said that the divorce could take another year (depending on how long she drags all of this out). My lawyer can see it, and my lawyer said that I am clearly the victim here (not her), but the courts (and judges) are just so blind to it all.
The courts could never rule in a man's favour (the women advocacy groups would be rioting in the streets, and it would be on every news channel). My sister feels for me, and she warned me (I just didn't listen at the time). I was blind, and now I'm going to "pay the price" for my stupidity.
I ignored all the rumours at church (people from church warning me what she did to her previous boyfriend). They even said that they were shocked that we were dating, because she was still dating her other boyfriend. Later, I talked to him about it, and he didn't even know who I was, and couldn't believe that we were both dating the same girl. He dumped her, and walked away.
Like a fool, I still dated her. She swore that "he was lying" and "just trying to break us up".
The guy said "Run!" I didn't listen.
Amazing how I can be friends with all of my ex's (including the very first girl I dated/had sex with in high school). We're still friends. She on the other hand, doesn't have a single "ex" that will speak to her, or even wants to acknowledge her existence. Most have left the state, changed their phone number, and even left the various churches (some have even changed their religion) just to get away from her.
She says it's always "their fault" (but never hers). Her parents (especially her father) is so blind-sided by all of this. He doesn't know what to believe. He was so upset at me (because of everything she had told him, claiming that I had beaten her, and hit her). Her dad knows that I was in Arizona when she filed those allegations against me. People are beginning to realized that "if HE were the bad one, why hasn't he fought back?" If HE were the "crazy" one, then why hasn't he been banging on HER door? Why isn't HE the one that shows up at HER work?
I don't call her, talk to her, and have never even gone near her. I left the church, and moved to a different state (just to get away from her and all her chaos). She used this as an opportunity to spread even more lies, and paint a very ugly picture of me.
This woman doesn't "fight fair", and she will kick straight for the nuts. She will do whatever it takes to "win". In her sick mind there must be a "winner" and a "loser". She can't just shake hands, and part ways. She wants it all. Every last penny.
I let her have everything, and even that is not enough.
She was upset that I found a new job in Arizona, palm trees, and got myself a small new place.
That turned her upside down, she wouldn't believe that I was so "happy" without her in my life. So she calls the police in Arizona, has me arrested (at my work), thrown in jail, and extradited all the way back to Illinois (for a court hearing). I'm in shackles, and look like hell (after sitting in jail for 3 1/2 months), and I finally appear before a judge (to answer the charges against me), and the judge just looks at her as a "helpless victim", swings his hammer, and finds me "guilty" on all counts.
At least I was set free at this point, and was able to get on the next flight out. I headed to Atlanta, Georgia, and spent the next 4 months hiding in Atlanta. I was enrolled in school full time, and was staying at a hotel, and had plenty of "witnesses" to ensure that it would be IMPOSSIBLE for her to do such a thing to me again.
I'm slowly trying to piece my life back together, but with the convictions it looks like my security clearance is gone, and without it... I will have a very difficult time trying to find work in my career field. It seems that my career is over. It may take at least 10-12 years (if ever) for me to try and "overturn" the damage that she has done to me. I don't think I will ever be eligible for another security clearance, and even so it would take years and years, and years (and lots of paperwork, witnesses and proof) to try and overturn what she has done to me.
Look at me now. I'm a "worthless bum" as she likes to call me. With all the allegations (and convictions) it makes it almost impossible to find work. I can't even get a job at McDonald's flipping burgers.
My mom cries after what she sees what this woman has done to me. I went from having a good $120,000/yr paying job... to someone that is sleeping in my mom's basement, with no money, and no future.
Most people dismiss all this as "folklore" or "fairy tales", but I can assure you as a "victim" of a malicious woman, that this stuff really does happen, and these women are real.
My brother had gotten involved with one (and she seemed identical to my wife/ex-wife), and I warned him about it. I saw all the signs, and I begged him to listen to me (and not to marry her). I told him that he would end up living the same life I did, and to PLEASE not make the same mistake that I did.
Luckily he listened, and although he didn't break up with her, he continued to date her, and after 2 more years he opened his eyes. He came to me and thanked me for my advice. Had he married her, (or had she got pregnant) then his life would be completely different right now.
My brother has found a "good girl" and is doing well now. He "purged" the evil witch from his life, and he is back on track, his career is doing well, and he is with a woman that truly loves him.
His current girlfriend walked into her work, grabbed her by the hair, and told her that she will get an "ass whipping" that she will NEVER forget if she doesn't stop her evil and vindictive bullshit.
Then she walked out. The whole office started clapping, and the girl got embarrassed and quit her job shortly thereafter.
She could have had all the money, honestly I could care less. It's only money, and it comes and goes. All I wanted was a good woman, with a good heart. A loving women with a gentle heart, that could love me for who I am (not what I have, or what I could possibly earn).
I'm in pretty bad shape right now (financially), and have over $32,000 in student loans right now.
It's an uphill battle, and I believe she is done "chewing" on me. It's been 4 months, and has been "quiet" so I think she has finally given up on me. I'm just hoping that she quickly finds herself another "chew toy" to play with, and just leaves me be.
Our country is in very bad shape right now. We have let this problem grow, and spiral out of control. Our "divorce rates" have gone through the roof, and even more recently people just choose to live together (and NOT get married), and just co-habit and have sex (but not get married)
This is a REAL and growing problem (not only in America).
I know many people in the church have taken her side (simply because of many of the absurd stories that she tells), but in recent months she had a "falling out" with one of her roommates, and got caught sleeping with another man. Her roommate goes to the same church that she does (the same church that I used to go to prior to moving to Arizona), and her roommate has spoken with all the elders of the church, and all the pastors, and all the counselors, and she has confirmed many of the same things that I have said (and told them). Suddenly they are confused, and are beginning to realize that maybe she did bamboozle everyone.
After they get the money, the house, the cars, and all the material objects, then they try to eliminate (or kill off) the man. Try to remove him from the picture (he is no longer needed), and she can "make more money" by marrying someone else (and getting herself ANOTHER paycheck). Once she sucks the blood out of the first one, he is useless to her. So she begins to look for another (and another, and another...)
Leaving a wake of men in her path. I'm not saying that men don't use women, but there are thousands and thousands of books out there describing how "awful" men are.
Here in America, women are "rewarded" for getting divorced. They can get more out of you by getting divorced (even if you are broke and jobless, and don't even have a roof over your head the courts will still institute excessive "child support" payments, and if you can't pay, they will toss you in jail). It seems criminal, but these women have a "standard of living" that they are accustomed to, and the courts see the man as just a paycheck or a "means" to sustain her standard of living.
She can jump from man to man, and her "riches" multiply. As she gets remarried, she now has "dual income" (her former spouse as well as her current spouse). After a few years, that marriage will probably fail, and then on to the next. It seems to be a "money making business" for them.
I have a 12 month old son, who I have never seen. She has refused to even let me go to the child birth (threatening to have me arrested and thrown in jail), and has petitioned the court to not even allow me to see my son. She has fought/refused to even let my name be put on the birth certificate. It's been 12 months now, and it's been pretty rough to say the least.
I can't believe the judge can't see through all of this. The false allegations have really hurt my life.
She even told the judge (under oath) that she slaps and hits me. The judge didn't even care. He found me guilty and gave her everything. It just amazes me, that this is the "shape" our country (and society) is in.