Who wants to marry a millionaire?

In an article in The Sunday Times Magazine of October 9, 2005, the financier Allan Miller claimed he was a victim of what he described as “legally sanctioned burglary” when his wife of just 1,013 days was awarded a house worth £2.3 million and a £2.7 million lump sum, making a settlement that works out at £4,935.83 per day. The court calculated this would give her an annual tax-free income of £98,000. Her former husband said her e-mail address remained Must-do-lunch-Melissa@... There were no children. It was reported that, by contrast, she lived in a one-bedroom rented apartment before she married.

In the appeal court Lord Justice Thorpe stated her marriage gave her “a legitimate entitlement to a long-term future on a higher plane of affluence”. In the same article the lawyer Raymond “Jaws” Tooth said: “It’s a gold-digger’s charter … Any attractive woman will now say, ‘Why should I work, when I can go down to Tramp, find a likely candidate, and seduce him?’ She’ll annoy him sufficiently that he’ll probably go off with someone else. But then she’ll be able to say he was responsible for the marital breakdown, and will obtain enough to live the rest of her life in luxury. Is that the state to which the law has descended?”

James Turner, QC, put it more bluntly: “If you’re a well-off man, or are likely to achieve wealth in the future, you’d be absolutely bonkers to get married from a financial point of view ... Many lawyers think the pendulum has gone from one side – being too pro-husband – to swinging wildly the other way. It’s a disincentive for a man to get married … a disincentive to work hard.”

His view is almost certainly shared by Charles Ashton, a corporate lawyer who was earning £450,000 a year. Following his divorce he has to pay his ex-wife about half of everything he will ever earn in the future.

And what man has not felt sorry for Sir Paul McCartney, who has been forced to endure savage media assassination by his former wife Heather Mills?

Not all men are bitter about marriage. This man expressed his views on the beauty of marriage with this internet chat room comment: “If you can find a woman to be your companion who is not treacherous, a deceitful little actress, a sly whore or a manipulative nag or a shrieking hag, then you are among the lucky few. Congratulations.”

As so many other wealthy men have discovered, no matter how much they are forced to pay in, no woman has yet been heard to say: “No, that’s too much. Take some back. You earned it. I didn’t.”

Based on all the intense media coverage surrounding these cases, how many more women married to wealthy men are now giving serious consideration to the idea that they could get a divorce and still lead their luxury lifestyle? There are the incentives of exotic holidays, expensive designer clothes, dining out at the trendiest restaurants, driving the latest sports cars and the freedom to enjoy the pleasures of younger, more virile boyfriends, all paid for by the ex-husband. How many rich married men are all too aware of their exposure to these risks? How many of these at-risk men are overtly bullied into doing everything their wife demands of them under the threat of a financially ruinous divorce? And how many cunning wives prefer the more covert approach, biding their time while preparing to jump ship when it’s more convenient? Possibly when their children are older?

What effect do these media stories have on young, highly ambitious and eligible bachelors who may aspire to become successful or wealthy? A man may find himself thinking that, if he works hard, gets to the top of his chosen career or builds up a business from scratch, his wife may be allowed, even encouraged, in years to come to take most of the fruits of his labours. He says to himself:  “What if I am as successful as I plan to be? My wife could take everything.”

What man, therefore, wouldn’t be forced to conclude that getting married is simply too risky these days?

As part of a man’s risk assessment when considering marriage he is increasingly aware that

·         If you cheat on your wife she gets at least half your assets. If she cheats on you, she still gets half your assets.

·         A woman often quits working to bring up the family she wants, while the man may be forced to work in a job he hates just to support them. Women have a choice. Men don’t.

You have to get to know yourself extremely well. You must learn to understand how and why you are attracted to particular types of women at the moment. You need to become more aware of any personal insecurities and fears you may have.

Extracted from “Venus: The Dark Side”. For more information visit www.VenusTheDarkSide.com

© Roy Sheppard and Mary T Cleary 2008

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