Do Nasty Women Target YOU?

You must have wondered many times why so many lovely women end up with men who can only be described as utter bastards. And why so many nice guys marry women who can only be described as absolute bitches?

In simple terms; men and women with no conscience prey on those with too much conscience.

Being a ‘nice person’ is seen as a character weakness to be exploited. Of course, not all relationships start that way, but when they turn sour, a woman with no conscience seems to have a capacity for a level of cruelty that most of her victims find difficult or impossible to cope with.

The women in this book are prepared to hurt innocent women, children and men to get her own way. This ruthlessness takes the form of physical, emotional, psychological, sexual or financial abuse. As queens of manipulation and deceit, vindictive women will say or do anything to wage war on their chosen victims when they don’t get what they want. Many are nothing short of domestic terrorists: Al Qaeda in high heels and lipstick.

Some of these women fight dirty, often using covert guerrilla tactics to inflict maximum pain for maximum personal gain. Telling lies to the police or playing the victim when they are the aggressor are everyday tricks of their trade, and when they are found out they instinctively find others to blame. Anybody will do. Nothing is ever their fault.

 “The world as a dangerous place to live, not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don’t do anything about it.” Albert Einstein

These women hurt people. 

 A good part - and definitely the most fun part - of being a feminist is about frightening men. Julie Burchill

 If you have been the victim of a nasty woman, you may recognise some, if not all, of the following:

• You didn’t realise what was being done to you until it was too late and the damage had been done.

• While licking your wounds, you look back and feel so stupid and angry for not recognising what she was up to, and you ask yourself: “How could I have been so stupid?

• It is made worse when you then remember that your initial gut instinct told you something wasn’t quite right about her.

• However, she seemed so incredibly friendly, charismatic, vivacious, sensuous and sexy, so your instincts had to be wrong!

• She was brilliant at playing on your sympathy and pity by claiming to be the victim, when all along she was setting you up to be her next one.

• Was she a ‘drain’ rather than a ‘radiator’? A drain is ultra-needy, someone who has the knack of making you feel down or worn out just by being in her company. You tend to be relieved when she leaves or gets off the phone to you. She’ll keep talking about herself and dumping on you, but  you don’t have the heart to tell her to stop. Everything is ‘poor me’, ‘Life is so unfair.’ A radiator is the opposite, always making you feel good about yourself. But be warned; some highly charismatic radiators are drains in disguise.

• If you tried to confront her, did she give you a guilt-trip for thinking such shameful things about her? Did you then beat yourself up a little more for thinking she could be as bad as you suspected?

• Have you ever been through weeks, months or even years questioning your own sanity, after coming into contact with such a woman?

• Sometimes she attacks others quite visibly, but mostly she causes mayhem by using covert tactics; lying, cheating, deceiving and conniving.

• She is an expert at the put-down. She believes putting-down others will somehow lift her. She has no qualms about doing so among friends or other company because she delights in making you and those around you squirm with embarrassment. Complain and she retorts: “Don’t be so silly. That’s typical of you to over-react.” Or she maintains: “I was only joking.”

• You go over and over in your mind exactly how she could possibly have interpreted the various things you said to her in all innocence – in the ways she did.

• Has she implied that for some spurious, unprovable reasons you are not fit to spend time with your own children?

• She is never wrong – about anything. Being right all the time is the only thing that matters to her.

• Yet she is the first to blame others for their shortcomings.

• She doesn’t want a conversation, she wants an audience.

• She rarely, if ever, has a kind word to say about anyone. Hearing what she says about her friends begs the question: “What does she say about me?”

• She is always too busy to do anything for others.

• She breaks promises. You can’t rely on her to do what she says. Often this is her way of exerting power in a relationship.

• She lives moment-to-moment and will say whatever she needs to say in that moment to get what she wants.

• She was highly judgmental and critical of others, often  for no apparent reason.

• No matter how committed you were, no matter how much you did to help her, you never quite did enough.

• She rarely, if ever, complimented anyone, unless she wanted something in return.

• She expected you to be at her beck and call all the time. She always got her own way and did whatever was necessary to win.  

• At the end was she one of the most cold-hearted people you have ever met. It was almost as though she had the capacity to flick the ‘off’ switch to her emotions, if she had any real ones to start with. When she got found out she just moved on to her next unsuspecting target.

• Trying to reason with her was often a lesson in futility. It was a waste of your breath.

• Finally, the one thing that has kept you awake at night has been the question: “Why did she pick on me.”

 Her targets are invariably unsuspecting ‘nice’ men and women, who are the least likely to confront, fight back or question her unreasonable behaviour. If you can identify with any of the above, you probably need some help!

Extracted from “Venus: The Dark Side".

For more information visit www.VenusTheDarkSide.com

© Roy Sheppard and Mary T Cleary 2008

These articles may be used free of choice. The following conditions apply: The article may not be changed although normal editing for length is permitted. Details of the book title and the website address must be included at the end of the article.